Homegrown Texan

Born and raised in Texas, I've found the home of my heart and soul in the Pacific Northwest. I love trees, cool weather, and rain. I'm a back to basics kind of gal just trying to raise my family and find a bit of time to slow down in this hectic life.

I'd really like to rip my female parts out right now, since they feel like that's what's being done to them, anyway.

*puts "hysterectomy" at the top of her Christmas wish list*

Do you ever find yourself going down a particular track in life, and suddenly wake up and wonder what the hell it is you're doing?

I just had that happen to me. You see, twice within 2 weeks I had 2 separate friends (who don't know each other) approach me with a business opportunity. They were different opportunities (one is specifically travel related, the other is retail product related), but both are essentially MLMs (one claims not to be, and maybe by some technicality they are not, but the idea is very similar).

Now I don't think either of these are scams. I think they have some good products to offer and I do think the structures are set up such that the potential for making some money with them is there. Especially if you are not looking at it as a "get rich quick" scheme (which I'm not, and they weren't claiming to be). However, for me, there are a couple of problems:

1) I wouldn't use a lot of the products that are offered. The travel one offers some really cool vacations at awesome prices, and while I'd love to participate, traveling with children in school and while trying to hold down a full-time job is not the easiest thing. Plus, I'm pretty sure none of the packages include the travel itself, which for a family of 4, is often enough to prohibit an entire vacation, even if it were free.

The retail opportunity had some good products, but I personally wouldn't use most of them. As an example, they have a great laundry detergent, eco-friendly, for a great price. But I use soap nuts. They have cleaners, but I use baking soda & vinegar. You see what I mean? Hair care products, cosmetics, pet products, the list goes on and on, but I think I may just be too frugal to be a salesperson. And I can't even begin to try to sell things that I don't really use. Which brings me to the second problem.

2) I am not a sales person. When I was in 2nd grade, I had to sell tickets to a pancake supper we were doing for a fundraiser. I was sure people would buy tickets from me, because it was cheap, no one wants to say no to a kid, and who doesn't like pancakes? So off I went (still a little nervous) to our nextdoor neighbor, timidly knocked on the door, and asked if they would like to buy tickets. They told me no, because they were going to be out of town that weekend. I ran home and that was the end of pancake supper ticket sales. I sold some girl scout cookies a few years later, but those pretty much sell themselves, and even then, I hated every minute of it.

So today, I'm going to call the people I've been talking to and let them know I won't be pursuing this opportunity. One won't be so bad; they just brought me to a meeting they were going to anyway, and stressed that it was fine if I didn't want to do it. The other friend I feel bad about because I've actually spent a fair amount of time meeting with him and his business associate. I feel like I've wasted their time and I feel bad about it. But, it will only get worse if I don't put a stop to it. I'd love to have another income, but this will not be it.

You know what I think? I think there's never a perfect time to implement a life-changing decision. There will never be enough time or enough money, the kids won't be the perfect age or in the perfect stage of school.

If you wait for the perfect time, then you'll never get to do anything.

So now, when I have no job offer, am currently working a job that is 2.5 months behind on paying me, am literally living off of my credit cards, have kids who are happy in school and right in the middle of the school year...

...I'm going to move to Oregon. I'm not saying I'm packing up the moving truck tomorrow. I do have a job *prospect* (which means I interviewed with a company who loves me and wants to hire me, but is having to delay hiring for a currently unknown amount of time). I may have to go myself, first. The kids may not get enrolled in the school we want them in (here if we move to Eugene, or here if we move to Portland) right away. We may even move while I don't have a job (which, my whole life, has qualified up there in the top ten list of Scariest Things In The World).

I will not spend another summer in the desert.
I will not spend another October sweating in summer temperatures when I should be thinking about fall and soup and warm crockpotty things
I will not spend another Christmas feeling like I don't want to cook because it's too hot.
I will be somewhere that is green and beautiful and supports nature.
I will be somewhere where I don't get cabin fever in the summer time.
I will be somewhere where I can garden without having to fight the very environment I'm trying to grow things in.
I will be within somewhat reasonable driving distance of my best friend.
I will be somewhere where I can feel happy, where I feel like I can breathe, where I feel at home, where I feel that feeling of a weight being lifted off of me that I always feel when I'm in the forest.

By next summer, I will be living in Oregon.