Homegrown Texan

Born and raised in Texas, I've found the home of my heart and soul in the Pacific Northwest. I love trees, cool weather, and rain. I'm a back to basics kind of gal just trying to raise my family and find a bit of time to slow down in this hectic life.

A few months back, we found out about a Waldorf school in Eugene that we're particularly interested in.  It's a charter school (i.e., free, which is the only way we can afford a Waldorf education), and they have a Waldorf teacher training school nearby (something which, previously unbeknownst to me, Jim is interested in).  We are both getting tired of the heat (especially me), and my dream is to live in the forest.  How much better does it get?

So our plan is to spend a week, drive up to Eugene, and check out the school and housing.  We were waiting to find out from the school when they would be holding parent information meetings.  I just got that information today.  And now I feel strangely adverse to the idea of going.  Partly because, I'm not so sure I want to move away from all of our friends.  And we would now be twice as far away from my parents (it would be 2000 miles now), making it more difficult to go see them.  I've always had this picture of myself alone in the forest, surrounded by pine trees.  And it seemed so peaceful and serene.  Now it still does, but I'm also catching a hint of loneliness.  I find that I don't make friends that easily...I do meet people, but it's not often that I click with someone to the point of going the next level of actively spending time with them.  So I'm very reluctant to give up the good times I do have with my wonderful friends here.

And now things at work are in flux.  Our company may get sold.  I'm told that I'd still have a job, but I'm not so sure.  The job market in Eugene for software engineers, well, sucks.  And work-at-home jobs are not so easy to come by...I got really lucky with this one.  No point moving if the chances are high I'd have to move again to find work.  Moving, especially that distance, isn't cheap.

I'm questioning whether we should go on this trip at all.  If we don't have a reasonable chance of moving, then I hate to burn the vacation time and expense.  Pat and Mike have been talking about a ski trip.  Which I'd love to do, but I'm not so sure about that anyway.  Nathan isn't ready to ski at all (chronologically he is, but developmentally he's not), Michael needs 100% supervision and tires easily.  It's very expensive to get child care at a ski resort, and what fun is a ski trip if you don't, well, *ski*?  Plus, I kind of hate spending vacations putting my kids in child care.  It just doesn't feel right to say, "hey, let's stick you with a bunch of strangers and a bunch of filthy, half-broken toys while we go while away the hours on the slopes".  It's ok for an evening or even a day, but the whole time?  Bleh.  I think the reality is, the ski trips should wait until both kids are old enough to either spend at least some time on the slopes with us, or have some friends they could stay with so that they get a vacation, too.


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