Homegrown Texan

Born and raised in Texas, I've found the home of my heart and soul in the Pacific Northwest. I love trees, cool weather, and rain. I'm a back to basics kind of gal just trying to raise my family and find a bit of time to slow down in this hectic life.

I don't know what has come over me, but I feel like a dark grey cloud of funk has settled over me. I really don't know why. It's Friday, I don't have big plans for the weekend (this is a plus for me, as I love feeling like I have 2 whole days that I can do whatever I want with), and I finally found a software bug that I've been chasing down at work for the last 3 days. I was actually feeling pretty good, too, until a few hours ago. Now I just feel like I want to curl up on a bed and sleep, or veg in front of the TV. Even reading a book sounds like too much effort at this point (sad, eh?).

Perhaps it is because we are going to have to put down our dog, Kosmo. He's been getting sicker over the past few weeks, and it is time. He has sores on his body and the last day or two, has generally not wanted to move. More than once he has gone to the bathroom in the house, I believe because he didn't want to expend the effort it takes to push the doggy door open. Poor little Kos. He's been with us...8 years now? 9, perhaps? In any case, long enough. He was our first dog. Boy, that dog has pissed me off more times than I can count! But it seems weird to think we won't have his feisty little self running around. DS4 is sad about it, too. He says Kosmo is his favorite dog. I'm not quite sure how to present this whole death thing to DS4. Just trying to play it by ear.

So perhaps that is my problem. Although I was feeling strangely detached about the whole thing earlier today. Maybe that's a part of the grieving process. I've never really dealt with any kind of loss that way before (feeling detached)...usually I'm more of the "OMG, I'll *never* see him again..Waaaahhhhh!!!" type of person. Maybe not out loud, but that's how I usually feel.

On a more positive note, last weekend I booked tickets and reserved a car for our vacation to the Canadian Rockies in March. Our adopted Mom (and adopted Grandma for the kids) has graciously invited us to share her timeshare with her and her family up there. I've never been to Canada, so that is exciting enough. Plus I love spending time with surrogate mom, as do the boys. I just feel like one of her family when I'm with her. And I absolutely *love* mountains and forests...you could drop me off in the middle of a bunch of pine trees and snow, and as long as I had a way to adequately warm myself, I'd be pleased as pie. So it should be a great vacation. I can't wait!


Post a Comment