Homegrown Texan

Born and raised in Texas, I've found the home of my heart and soul in the Pacific Northwest. I love trees, cool weather, and rain. I'm a back to basics kind of gal just trying to raise my family and find a bit of time to slow down in this hectic life.

Lots of things have happened since I last posted.  My life has turned upside down in so many ways.  Mostly good, all good, I guess.  Some a bit difficult, but in a way I welcome that.  If it were easy, it probably wouldn't be all that much worth having.  I'd rather have beautiful, wonderful things that bring meaning to my life, even if it means some amount of pain or difficulty to get there.

I finally achieved my dream of moving to the Pacific Northwest!  Eugene, OR to be exact.  Which is pretty fucking awesome, because that's *exactly* where I had decided I wanted to be.  It wasn't easy, and I'm still not all the way here (meaning my husband and kids are still back in Phoenix getting the house ready...boooo).  I'm living in a small apartment with whatever I could drive up in my small Corolla.  Enjoying work, which is a damn good feeling, since I spent the last two years of my career in a professional coma.  I hated that, hated how lousy it made me feel about myself, my work ethic, my integrity, my value.  All of it.  So. damn. glad. to be done with that.  I loved working at home, but now I love being in an office again.  You know, with real coworkers to interact with.  Of course it helps that I don't have anywhere near the kind of commute I would have had in Phoenix.  I detest wasting time in an idling car, detest it even more when it's hot outside, so I think I would have been a lot less excited about it back there.

I'm also making some awesome friends, much moreso than I would have ever expected.  Which is really cool, because it just supports this feeling, this "knowing" I'm carrying around with me that this is where my soul belongs.  I think I wandered around here in a daze for about the first 2 weeks, waiting for the vacation to end and to have to go back home.  Now it has finally clicked that this *is* home.  I was worried I wouldn't feel that way about it because I moved here not knowing hardly anyone.  But it really does feel that way.  I can't imagine going anywhere else, and I hope to god I never have to.  Not going to dwell on that, though...I'm a worrier by nature as it is and do not need to torture myself by finding things to worry about.  Right now I'm just living in the moment.  I don't mean that in a frivolous way.  But one thing I've learned is that I used to spend so much time worrying about what was going to happen in the future, or missing what was already in the past, that I forgot to enjoy the present.  WTF?  That makes no sense, whatsoever.

Anyway, now I finally feel that my spirit can relax and start to grow again.  I've been thinking lately about "meaning of life" type stuff...finding my purpose and all that.  I don't believe in predestination and I don't believe what I'm supposed to be doing fits in some nice, neat box.  But I need to give some attention to that.  It's something I've been neglecting because I've been so beaten down with work stress and depression.  Now I'm finally feeling like I have the spiritual capacity to be able to focus on that.  I need to draw from the beautiful nature around me and get that power from it that I know I can.  I moved here to feed my spirit and my soul.  And I can't wait to do it.


I am so happy for you. I know that when I was younger Colorado called to my soul, it still does. So I know exactly what you mean. We'll miss you here, but your happiness is nice to see/read.

I LOVE YOU MY FRIEND!I'm proud that you made it there, that you are making it your town, that you are happy at work and finding friends.You will always have my support and love in whatever you do!!! :)

Hey, any particular reason you have the Blogspot address omnomnomnivore.blogspot.com registered if you're not putting up any posts there? You're clogging it up for people who might to use it. Just a thought.

Hi. I am not a person you know, But as i was searching for a perticluar site in which i lost a long time ago. I found this page. I became almost at once amazed at what you have done here. I read your posts. You should be a writer, maybe an autobio. I would buy your book in a split second. You are a great writer. Keep it up - neil.dangelo@gmail.com

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